Keeping myself in check.
Today is the 14th of January 2008. Mr M has successfully gone through 22 years of life and I was a part of it. I was chatting with M on MSN just the night before his birthday. He made a gentle request that he gets a good bday fuck from a nice tight ass and apparently, mine was the one that came to his mind immediately after I asked if he knew any. So, the plan was that he was supposed to come up with a strategy on how to get it done simply because I was way too tired to think of anything at that point of time. I have had to carry brick after brick, trees, wooden decks, chairs and whatever valuable item we neighbours laid eyes on at the well-dilapidated and about to be expunged site of what used to be called the Seletar Black and White Residential area. Yes, it was indeed an interesting experience. I felt a whole lot of energy left lingering behind in those houses that used to be the home of many different families since many years before I was even born. That kinda residence ought to leave something energetically significant behind, to be picked up by anyone who traces by the place.
Anyways, back to the issue at hand. I purposely missed the first lesson of my first week of school to make way for M’s request. I was hoping that he would make the call to invite me over to his place for a quicky before he heads off to school. I would say I was as excited as he was. That would take our rendezvous experience to a whole new level. He was somebody I would willingly take in as an experience, an entity that would be a part of me.
However, the call did not come. What ever the case was, at the very least, we managed to meet up at the Starbuck’s at Wheelock Place for a quick coffee. He had only 2 hours to spare for me as he had to rush off for dinner at his granny’s place at Sempang and then head off to meet his friends who were planning his birthday bash on Friday, 16th Jan. Lol, the theme for the party was going to be Britney Bitch. So guests would have to come in anything that screams Britney! No, I was not invited an I secretly hoped that I wouldn’t be invited. Me in anything remotely associated with Britney? Seriously…
So 2 hours went by and we laughed, talked and touched each other. From this you can tell that we were somewhat hornified by each other;s presence and circumstances just wouldn’t allow anything to happen. Pretty sad, I know. But what can one do? We had no where else to go and none of us had vehicular privileges. No car, no house, no room, no nothing. How to have anything happen just like that?
At times like this, I wished I had my own place or at the very least, my own room. I do not have parents to whom I would have to explain why my friend is locked up in my bedroom. But unfortunately, having no bedroom is a bigger issue here. I don’t know why I feel so helpless in this situation. I have never been presented with such a case before. Somebody I like actually wants to spend intimate moments with me, for once! And I cannot give anything in return. I have to give him a blank face everytime something like this comes up and wait for him to suggest that I go over to his place. This is one reason why I am hoping that my sister’s plan to have the chalet will pull through so that I could for once invite him to stay over for a night. That would be the least I could do. Ooh guess what? The chalets are all fully booked. I have just checked the system. Damn it!
So I figured that I should just take it slow. Be his friend and most importantly, see if he should be my friend; somebody close enough that I would allow full entrance into my life. Somehow, I still have doubts on whether he is really suitable for me or not. Maybe a fling is what this really is and nothing more can come out of it.
Sometimes, I wonder if he is even truly interested in me. Do I make him laugh and smile because of who I am or is it simply because he is just being nice to me so he gets whatever he wants? Am I making a fool out of myself? Am I thinking too hard about it and making a whole deal out of something which is as simple as a fling?
Whatever the case is, I owe him a gift. I think he deserves a gift from me, for the times he has been pleasant to me. He wants a creme brulee body lotion, as set of that he will get. The problem is that I would have to get to level 1 of Takashimaya to get that thing which will probably cost the highest I have ever spent on a single gift for anyone. But I want to give it. To him. I want to show him that I do pay attention and I will try to give him whatever he wants eventhough it may come a bit late, 3 weeks late perhaps.
So we will see what I do with all this…and so now I shut up.
